Apple has nearly $29 billion in cash and securities piled up, and the total rises every day. Could they be preparing to go on a shopping spree? While history would suggest otherwise – the company has zero history of making large acquisitions – the rumor mill today has the company in two theoretical deals.

Valleywag writes today that the company is close to buying Twitter for as much as $700 million. The blog asserts that “A source who’s plugged into the Valley’s deal scene and has been recruited by Apple for a senior position says Apple and Twitter are in serious negotiations, with the goal of unveiling a deal by June 8, when Apple’s annual Worldwide Developers Conference launches in San Jose.” I might point out that the WWDC is not in San Jose, it is in San Francisco, as usual.

Meanwhile, TheStreet.com, in a summary of last night’s Fast Money program on CNBC, notes that panelist Guy Adami said there is “chatter” that Apple is “eyeing” Electronic Arts (ERTS) as a possible takeover target.

And while we’re in Apple rumor-mongering mode, Cult of Mac has published a picture of what it says may or may not be the theoretical Apple netbook.

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